Introduction to “Law of Success Coaching”

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Published on November 10, 2016

 

I was a Forestry Technician in AB & BC for several years working in Forestry Compliance Management, Safety & Fire Control. (I spent many years fighting forest fires on a first response team in the Lac La Biche forest long before the rest of the world knew where Lac La Biche AB was)

For 3 years I developed and ran 1-3 day production training courses for bakers, store managers in the food industry.

Since 2006 I have been working in Sales, Marketing, Networking and new business development in the Insurance & Financial industry.

I have also been coaching horses and their humans for over 20 years. My area of speciality is working with woman in their 40’s – 60’s who need help overcoming fear, developing new skills, and learning how to “read” and understand behaviors

I can tell you I have lived and seen A LOT of things that most people never will.

So what does – Insurance, Sales, Forest Fires, Donuts, Horses, corporate business, sports and dealing with people all have in common? ‘RISK & the ability to read situations’. I became very good at both.

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I have been invited on serval occasions to speak at the University of Guelph, Kemptville College along with private clubs & events on the topic of ‘Risk Management”

 Now I bring my experience into the business world

 My elderly neighbour said to me once ‘Kim – you’ve been to where angels fear to tread’ I told her that the best stories leave you with a few scorched feathers.   So, that’s me in a nut shell. I’m a story teller.

 Here is another ‘truth’ – Horses and people both have personalities.

  Some horses will kick you because they are bullies – other horses kick you because they are scared to death.  Sometimes a nice horse will kick you because you put him into a learning situation that he does not know how to deal with.

The business world is kind of the same – Most people have no idea why they keep getting “kicked”.

I found the most important skills I could teach people was how to ‘read’ risk, understand their own situations and show them how to develop strategies to interrupt the behavior.

Next to Horses – my greatest teacher was Napolian Hill. I have blended much of his wisdom into my coaching & my personal life. I believe in the Law of Attraction, Out Witting the Devil, and mastering the habit of drifting in order to be successful.

My coaching model is based on helping people who are at a cross road in their life. They are looking for that next “something” in their life but they may not be sure what it is they are looking for or how to get it. The big question I ask people is ‘What Do You Want’. Sounds like a simple question – but it really is not. What do you WANT?

Are you at a cross roads in your life?  Or are you looking to grow a business?  Consider attending one of my ‘Introduction to Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind session’ and bring a friend!  If you like the concept & the energy – you can register for the series

 “Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind Series”

 No matter what your personal goal is – no one person can do it alone.  You need to attract people into your life who will move you forward towards that dream.

The Ottawa woman’s Mastermind 6 week series is a way to attract key people into your life, learn from each other by using THE LAW OF ATTRACTION, POSITIVE ATTITUDE and IMAGINATION to reach your next goal.

This group is a bit unique in what my vision is. The group is not a place to sell your products or advertise yourself to find clients. I am not looking for coaches – I am looking for students.  It is a 6 part series that meets every 2nd Thursday for 12 weeks.  This is NOT A NETWORKING GROUP

The actual 6 part series is a closed series and limited to only 10 woman.  You must attend the ‘Introduction to Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind’ in order to register for the series.

Please email me for information on when the next Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind session will be starting.

  • If you liked learning about ‘Law of Success Coaching’ and the ‘Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind series please ‘ Tell a Friend’, hit ‘like‘ and ‘share‘ this post.  

Kimberly Pringle – Law of Success Coach & Associate Financial Advisor

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Habits and Financial Literacy – dispelling the myth

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Kimberly Pringle – Associate Financial Advisor & Law of Success Mastermind Coach

We have all heard this “Successful People are successful because of their good habits.” This is not a news flash. We hear it all the time

 

Everyone tells you that good Habits lead to peace of mind, health and financial security. You are where you are because of your established good habits and thoughts and deeds.

  •  Well guess what – You are most likely where you are in life because of your bad habits.

Financial education might have some positive effects on financial outcomes, but they are modest at best.  People are simply not very good at exercising self-restraint. For example why do so many of us eat fast food breakfast in our cars on the way to work or go out for lunch?  Lack of self-discipline.  Going to bed late, not getting up early enough to make a lunch – grabbing coffee on the go.  Habits.

As an Associate Financial Advisor & Coach my experience working with clients is that people need to address their bad habits.

  • Your bad habits maybe getting in the way of you success. 

Financial literacy education alone is not going to save you – you have to change your habits.

As many of you know I am an Associate Financial Advisor with the Co Operators Insurance here in Ottawa. I am also a Coach & have developed a successful 6 week coaching series for woman called “Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind” . In this 6 week self-discovery journey that asks the question ‘What do you want’ we look at the things that are getting in peoples way of their success. This course provides a different way of looking at things.   Success means different things to different person – but everyone who takes this journey recognizes that having financial security is key.

Knowing the path to your personal success is different than walking that path. Walking the talk is hard.

  • If you are ready to start walking your path to success I would like to hear from you.

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New ‘Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind’ series starting in January 2017.

https://www.meetup.com/Ottawa-Womans-Mastermind/ Join Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind on meet up

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Make your own coffee & stop lying to yourself

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BUILDING FOR THE FUTURE – Stop Lying to yourself.

Burdened with debt, people who are building for the future will have a hard time thinking about, let alone talking about, saving for retirement. But, addressing your’ debt ratios early on you can get set on the right path. It’s simple advice, but it’s true: the earlier you start saving, the more time you will have to build a retirement nest egg.

Here’s an example of how making simple spending changes can make a difference over time:*

  • By brewing their own coffee, clients can save $5 per weekday, for a total of $88,471 over 30 years.
  • By making a lunch, they can save $10 per weekday, for a total of $176,941 over 30 years.
  • And when they do both, that’s a grand total of $265,412 of savings over 30 years.7

It is important to understand where you are spending your money.  As a Trusted Associate Financial Advisor with the Co Operators Insurance in Ottawa and a Law of Success Coach – The # 1 thing I tell my clients – “STOP LYING TO YOURSELF – NOTHING GREAT EVERY HAPPENS IN YOUR COMFORT ZONE”.  You need to make some changes in your habits if  you want to change your future.     

Questions to consider for people who are building for the future:

  1. How much debt do you have?
  2. Do you have a plan to sustain your lifestyle without incurring debt?
  3. Are you putting extra money to work by investing it for future spending?
  4. Are you the primary income provider? If you got sick or died unexpectedly, could your family’s lifestyle continue without your income, or would they be able to pay off this debt with only one income?

This is a call to action.  Let’s get the conversation started!

Kimberly Pringle, Associate Financial Advisor 613-408-3896

lawofsuccesscoach@gmail.com

#ottawa #financial #retirement #lawofattraction #coffee #dept

 

 

Moving Your Business Idea To Reality

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 Posted by YouInc.com – March 23, 2016 at 12:00 am

Moving Your Business Idea to Reality – What’s Stopping You?

Do you have an amazing idea for your business? So why is it still an idea and not a part of your business plan? There are plenty of reasons not to act on an inspiration. In some cases your hesitation prevents you from making a costly mistake and in others it just stands in the way of your success. Examine why you’re not moving forward with your idea and consciously decide whether it’s the right move for your business.

Time. Almost by definition, entrepreneurs have very little free time. However, you need to view your time as a resource. Are all of the activities that you’re spending your time on creating value for your business? Would it make more sense to reallocate some of your time to this new project?

Don’t let an inspiration wither away in your indecision; either move forward with it or dismiss it.

Money. Almost every entrepreneur is painfully aware that you have to spend money to make money and that it is difficult to be successful without taking on some degree of risk. However, making the wrong investment or taking the wrong risk can cost you everything. There are no easy answers here. You need to make the best decision that you can with the information that you have and hope for the best.

Indecision. There are reasons to move forward and there are reasons to stay still. When you don’t know which way to go, the easiest thing to do is nothing. Remember that doing nothing is a decision in itself and sometimes it is the riskiest move of all. Look closely at your idea and analyze the positives and negatives, as well as the risks and opportunities. You may still decide not to proceed but at least you are making a conscious decision about the direction that your business will take.

Fear. You don’t have to be in business for long to know that there is a lot to fear. Your friends with nine to five jobs look at you and imagine that you have nerves of steel, but the truth is that after suffering through a few failures, it’s scary to put yourself in that position again. It’s okay if you decide that this isn’t the right time to take a chance. However, if you feel like you’ve lost your nerve, then you need to take some time to reflect and decide how you’re going to move forward with your business.

The world doesn’t need more dreamers; it needs leaders with the knowledge to make good choices and the courage to carry them through. Don’t let an inspiration wither away in your indecision; either move forward with it or dismiss it. If it is a good idea and you don’t act on it, it won’t be long before someone else does.

Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind “What Do You Want’ New session starting April 7/16

@newlawofsuccess  Tags: fear, idea, indecision, inspiration, risk, profiles, business plan, business success, entrepreneur, money, success, time, time management

“Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind – What Do You Want Series (Level 1).”

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Kim's posterAre you at a cross roads in your life?  Or are you looking to grow a business?  No matter what your personal goal is – no one person can do it alone.  You need to attract people into your life who will move you forward towards that dream.

The Ottawa woman’s Mastermind meet up is way to attract key people into your life, learn from each other by using THE LAW OF ATTRACTION, POSITIVE ATTITUDE and IMAGINATION to reach your next goal.

This group is a bit unique in what my vision is. The group is not a place to sell your products or advertise yourself to find clients. I am not looking for coaches – I am looking for students.  It is a 6 part series that meets every 2nd Tuesday Starting Feb 28th, 2017.  This is NOT A NETWORKING GROUP

See you Feb 28th 2016 at 7 PM  at the Merivale Bowling Alley.  If you have any questions please send me an email or give me a call. You can also follow me on my blog www.kimberlypringle.com

Email Kimberly to register Email Kimberly

 

An Evening of Personal Development for The Muslim Woman’s Business Network

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Kim's poster.pngKimberly Pringle, owner of Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind Is offering an Introduction to PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT for the Muslim Woman’s Business Network.

Having a business goal and looking for Personal Development does not mean you have to sacrifice your beliefs or core values. Embrace your Core Values and Beliefs and your business will grow!

No matter what your personal goal is – no one person can do it alone. You need to attract people into your life who will move you forward towards that dream.

Kimberly uses the principles she teaches in her Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind groups to talk about personal development and bring like-minded woman together to share ideas, improve your life and build a business.

Attending this event is a fantastic way to attract key people into your life, learn from each other by using THE LAW OF ATTRACTION, POSITIVE ATTITUDE and IMAGINATION to reach your next goal.

This is a personal development event  – not a networking event. This event is not be a place to sell your products or advertise yourself to find clients. It’s a place to come together and learn.

Come out to this this great free event!

Tuesday March 15th at 7 PM. ( Location to follow).

Go to Kimberly’s Mastermind Site and register today.   Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind – Kimberly Pringle

 

 

 

Law of Attraction at Work

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IMG_20160302_122235.jpgI have been a student of Napoleon Hill & his life’s work for over 10 years.  As a coach and motivational speaker I often talk to people about the Law of Attraction.  ‘You attract into your life the things you think about the most’.  In my Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind group I give out ‘Gold Star’ stickers (old school) when someone has an “AH HA” moment.  It is fun and makes people smile.

Today when I was at the store I reached into my purse to get my wallet and noticed there was a ‘star’ stuck on it.  Then I noticed that my curling gloves also had a ‘star’ on them.  There were ‘star’ on EVERYTHING.  They were everywhere!  That is when it hit me – I am always giving out ‘stars’ to other people to motivate them and celebrate success.  Today the ‘universe’ gave me a couple of ‘stars’.  It said ‘Kim – you are a star – don’t forget it’.

Now you can be a negative person and say ‘the box of stars spilled in your purse’.  Or you can think – The Universe knows a ‘star’ when it sees one!  I’m going with the 2nd one.

We all have stars – we just need to look.

Kimberly Pringle – Financial Advisor, Coach

 

** Watch This Video** Life Lesson from Top Navy Seal. If you want to change the world start by making your bed.

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In life there are many challenges.  As we go forward working on building a business or attempting to make some life style changes accomplishing the little things will always lead to bigger things.  No one person can do it alone.  You need to gather people around you to help you ‘Row’ and you need to focus on accomplishing the little things.   Admiral McRaven – The Top Navy Seal gives an amazing speech.  If you want to change the world – start by making your bed.

Click here to listen to his speech.  If you want to change the world – start by making your bed

If you are looking for a way to change your world – start by coming out to our next Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind series on January 28th, 6:30 PM.  Because no one person can do it alone.  Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind

Kimberly Pringle

OTTAWA WOMAN’S MASTERMIND – The Habit of Drifting

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In 1948  Napoleon Hill asked ‘The Devil’ (in an interview) what the  Devil’s greatest weapon over human beings was?

” The Devil replied – My greatest weapon over human beings consists of two secret principles by which I gain control of their minds.

I will speak first of the principle of habit, through which I silently enter the minds of people. By operating through this principle, I establish the habit of drifting.

When a person begins to drift away from their goals, they are headed straight toward the gates of what you earthbound call hell.

A drifter is one who permits himself to be influenced and controlled by circumstances outside of his own mind.  He don’t know what he wants from life and spends all of his time getting just that.   A drifter is one who is too lazy mentally to use his own brain. That is the reason I can take control of people’s thinking and plant my own ideas in their minds. “

My name is Kimberly Pringle and I am the vision behind ‘Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind’ meet up.  I will be starting a new 12 week series – beginning with ‘An Introduction to Mastermind” in January 2016.  Please visit and join  Ottawa Woman’s Mastermind .  I will be posting information on our next series soon. 

The Garlic Lady

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Kimberly – The Garlic Lady. Many of you who know me know this story. But for those of you who do not – I want to share my story with you.

I am a Farm girl at heart with a love for horses and the outdoors. My dad always had a love for animals and things that grew. A few years ago he started to grow garlic and I helped him. It became ‘our thing’. I’m sad to say that 3 years ago I lost my dad to Cancer. I still grow the garlic every year as a way of staying close to him. I grow the garlic at our family farm in Arden. It is some of the best garlic anywhere because it is grown on ‘fresh air and sunshine’. Many other people who now grow “Bill’s Garlic” will tell you it is the best! I am always happy to share pictures and stories about ‘Papa Bill’ , our farm and my Tennessee Walking Horses with you all. I know that garlic is not the same as growing flowers – but to me it is beautifull, tough, and strong. Just like my dad. Just like me smile emoticon Here is a picture of me bringing in the garlic last year.

I want to thank all the people who purchased Garlic from me again this year. Once again I am sold out – and I thank you.

Take a minute over the next few days to be Greatfull for all we have in our lives. Think about the people who are no longer with us. Enjoy the Garlic!

PS – when I’m not growing garlic or playing outside I’m a Financial Advisor at the Co Operators Insurance here in Ottawa.

Fire Alarm at 6 AM

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At 6 am this morning the fire alarm in my building went off.  Me and my cat ‘Steve’ are on the 11th floor of a 15 story high rise.  steveWe were up late last night watching the Edmonton Oilers loose another hockey game and the Houston Astros win the World Series.  6 am is usually the time I get up for work – but getting up to a Fire Alarm is not a Zen way to start the day.

As I jumped out of bed my mother’s voice came into my head – Kim make sure you are waring good Pajama’s when you go to bed because there could be a fire and you will have fire fighters at  your door.   (Note to self – buy better pajamas)

I grabbed my purse, my phone and Steve.  As I was putting Steve into his cat carrier I remembered that I had planned to buy a new cat carrier because the last road trip we did to “Grandma’s House in Kingston” Steve barley fit into his cat carrier.  So at 6 AM he was not going willingly.

So there I was standing outside my building in the rain this am with nothing but, my purse, my phone & Steve surrounded by 100’s of other people from the building.  I was standing safely in the rain with the fire trucks, fire alarms going off, lights flashing and I was not worried.

In fact I was quite calm because I knew that no matter what happened with the fire – I was going to have a safe place to sleep that tonight, I would have extra money for additional living expenses & food, I would have money to replace all my furniture and I was protected for liability if the fire started in my unite.

I have ALL THAT PEACE OF MIND FOR $31/MONTH because I had insurance.

For people who have condo’s as their principle residence or for people who rent apartments the cost of insurance is apx $22-$40/month.

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I’m sharing my story with you this morning in the hopes that it may help you or someone you love.  Please talk to a Licenced Insurance Advisor today about Tenants Insurance or Condo insurance.

If your fire alarm went off at 6 AM tomorrow – would you be OK?

Kimberly Pringle – Associate Financial Advisor  613-723-0747

 

 

Axe Throwing Tournament!

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2nd Annual        

 “GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE”

  Axe Throwing Tournament

Presented by:

Kimberly Anne Pringle – Associate Financial Advisor & Law of Success Mastermind Coach

 

“No matter what your personal goal is – no one person can do it alone. You need to attract people into your life who will move you forward towards that dream. ” 

6 years ago I made the City of Ottawa my home.  I did not know anyone when I moved here.  So I set out to build some ‘social equity’  and get to know some fun people!  The city of Ottawa has been wonderful to me and I am very grateful for all the people I have met over the years.

I wanted to organize and event to bring some of the GREAT people I have met together – have fun, do something very different to help everyone ‘Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone’ – because nothing great ever happens in your comfort zone.

What could be more fun than an Insurance Advisor organizing an event to throw axes that includes a fully licensed bar.

Back by Popular demand – Kimberly Pringle’s 2nd annual ‘Get out of your comfort zone’ Axe Throwing tournament.

What to Expect

Events last 2 – 2.5 hours and are hosted by BATL coaches in a private throwing area. Things begin with practice and instruction before starting a group tournament.

Backyard Axe Throwing League’s Ottawa venue offers a fully licensed bar and kitchen serving a selection of local beers, wine and coolers

** Please note – this is not a networking event for people to prospect for clients or sell products.  I request that everyone respect this ‘no sales zone’

DATE

Sat, Nov 11, 2017 at 6 PM

GUESTS

Invitational

COST                        $42.86 +tax / person

ADDRESS

2615 Lancaster Road, Units 29 & 30, Ottawa, K1B 5N2

Email

lawofsuccesscoach@gmail.com

Mindfulness •Watch Your Mind For 5 Minutes: Yeah, it’s often a crazy mess of thoughts you take wayyyy too seriously.

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5 Secrets To Making Your Mind Happy

by Eric Barker

What would be nice is to have a perspective that helps your brain deal with all of these negative emotions. And there may be one — and you’ve probably heard the name a lot lately: Mindfulness. And research shows it works.Dan Harris is the anchor of Good Morning America and author of 10% Happier, where he recounts his journey from mindfulness skeptic to believer. Joseph Goldstein and Sharon Salzberg are two of the most well-known mindfulness teachers. I spoke to each of them to learn more.You and I are gonna walk through the first few steps on how to be more mindful so you don’t just sound like Merriam-Webster, but you really understand what the deal is and how to do it.

  • 1) Watch Your Mind For 5 Minutes Comically, it will act like something is The Biggest Problem Ever, then bounce to something completely different and think that’s The Biggest Problem Ever. And it will repeat this cycle endlessly.When you really watch your mind bouncing around and getting worked up, there is only one conclusion you can come to: “I am utterly insane.”Nothing in life is as important as you think it is while you are thinking about it.People spend 46.9 percent of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they’re doing, and this mind-wandering typically makes them unhappy… “Mind-wandering is an excellent predictor of people’s happiness,” Killingsworth says. “In fact, how often our minds leave the present and where they tend to go is a better predictor of our happiness than the activities in which we are engaged.”… Time-lag analyses conducted by the researchers suggested that their subjects’ mind-wandering was generally the cause, not the consequence, of their unhappiness.(To learn how to be happier and more successful, click here.)
  • 2) You Are Not Your ThoughtsAnd this causes a lot of unhappiness. Your arm lifts stuff. Just like your brain produces thoughts. That’s what it does. And as you well know, some of those thoughts are ridiculous. That doesn’t mean that’s who you are.Anybody who’s paid any attention to their minds will know throughout the day there’s a run of thoughts going through our heads. Usually, we’re quite caught up in them and identified with them. We take them to be who we are. Without mindfulness, we’re lost in the dream of our thoughts in these mind created worlds and we’re not even aware that that’s what’s happening, we’re so enmeshed in them.You need to do this more often, rather than assuming just because it’s in your head, it’s you and it’s to be taken seriously. Here’s Sharon Salzberg:I look at it like this: “See and not be.” Recognize the worries, frustrations or fears as just thoughts. They don’t have to be you.Okay, we know the thoughts are just thoughts. But what do we do once we see’em?Okay, you’re not your thoughts but they are still there. Give the feeling a name. Label it.Naming it helps you frame it and separate it from being “you.” And it can reduce the emotional component and help you relax. Here’s Joseph:In meditation this is called “noting.” But is it some esoteric practice only meditators do? Nope. I’m seeing versions of this everywhere and from very reputable sources.From The Upward Spiral:And hostage negotiators use labeling to reduce negative emotions when they deal with criminals.Okay, you labeled your thought and it reduced the emotional impact. Good
  • .4) Don’t Just React To Thoughts. Decide.And so you probably just said things you don’t mean and did things that will make you unhappy in the long term, right? (The word “impulsive” is rarely a compliment.)From Joseph’s book, Mindfulness:Before you impulsively react to a thought (and maybe blurt out something stupid or do something rash), just ask yourself one simple question:Here’s Joseph:And Sharon adds:Telling yourself what you just did was dumb might be harsh but it might lead you to get your act together. Telling yourself you’re dumb 400 times in 15 minutes? Um, is that useful?(To learn how to do mindfulness meditation, click here.)5) Be CompassionateTo be compassionate you have to be able to get close to someone’s pain. But often this is too intense. It hurts to see someone you love suffer. Your brain’s impulsive reaction can be: “PAIN BAD. RUN AWAY.”Mindfulness has a key role in the development of compassion. In the face of suffering, compassion is that desire of, “How can I help in this situation?” What’s necessary for compassion to arise is a willingness to come close to the suffering and this is not always easy to do. Very often in the face of suffering you don’t want to see it because it’s unpleasant. Mindfulness allows us to let it in and when we let it in and come close to it, that’s precisely the condition for compassion to arise.Time to round all this info up and learn the most powerful method for increasing mindfulness…Here’s how to be more mindful and happy:
  • Sum Up
  • (To learn how to get people to like you — from an FBI behavior expert, click here.)
  • You need to not be overwhelmed by the feeling in order to remedy it and mindfulness helps you keep that distance so you can be of help. Here’s Joseph:
  • Mindfulness makes compassion easier. How, you ask? Well, if you faint at the sight of blood, you won’t be a good surgeon.
  • So we’ve dealt a lot with how mindfulness helps you cope with the negative. Enough defense. Time for some offense. How does mindfulness boost happiness?
  • You miss your flight. Your first reaction might be to take the anger inside you and vent it on the person at the airline’s front desk. I gotta ask: is that useful?
  • What we’re talking about with mindfulness is not in any way eradicating thoughts or annihilating them, but being able to have a little bit of space so we can make a clear decision: “Do I want to nurture this or do I want to let it go?”
  • Where is this action leading? Do I want to go there? …This thought which has arisen, is it helpful? Is it serving me or others in some way or is it not? Is it just playing out perhaps old conditions of fear or judgment or things that are not very helpful for ourselves or others? Mindfulness really helps us both see and discern the difference and then it becomes the foundation then for making wiser choices and why the choices lead to more happiness. It’s really simple. It’s not easy to do, but it’s very simple.
  • “Is it useful?”
  • …contrary to some popular beliefs, our aim should be not to follow the heart but to train the heart. All of us have a mix of motivations; not everything in our hearts is wise or wholesome. The great power of mindful discernment allows us to abandon what is unwholesome and to cultivate the good. This discernment is of inestimable value for our happiness and wellbeing.
  • Following your heart is good. But first we need to train the heart, or we may follow impulsive desires that get us into trouble.
  • You have emotional thoughts, you assume they are “you” and BOOM, you immediately act based on them…
  • But what’s the point of all this? To allow yourself to deal with your thoughts effectively and make better decisions in your life which will make you happier and more productive. And that comes down to a very simple principle…
  • (To learn the 4 rituals neuroscientists say will make you happier, click here.)
  • …in one fMRI study, appropriately titled “Putting Feelings into Words” participants viewed pictures of people with emotional facial expressions. Predictably, each participant’s amygdala activated to the emotions in the picture. But when they were asked to name the emotion, the ventrolateral prefrontal cortex activated and reduced the emotional amygdala reactivity. In other words, consciously recognizing the emotions reduced their impact.
  • Neuroscientists have done research showing how powerful giving an emotion a name can be in curbing bad feelings.
  • It’s almost like a frame around a picture. The point is not to look at the frame, but the frame helps focus our attention so we see the picture more clearly.
  • “I’m feeling angry.” or “I’m feeling worried.”
  • 3) Label Your Thoughts And Feelings
  • (To learn what the happiest people in the world do every day, click here.)
  • I think one of the issues that we have is that we don’t necessarily recognize that a thought is just a thought. We have a certain thought, we take it to heart, we build a future on it, we think, “This is the only thing I’ll ever feel”, “I’m an angry person and I always will be”, “I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life”, and that process happens pretty quickly.
  • You already know this… but selectively. Sometimes, you’ll say, “I’m not really angry, I’m just tired.” Boom. That’s a teensy bit of mindfulness right there. (See? You’re already good at it.)
  • This distinction is central to mindfulness. Here’s Joseph Goldstein:
  • Neuroscientist Alex Korb made an interesting distinction when I spoke to him. If you were to break your arm you would not tell people, “I am broken.” But when we feel anger we’re quick to say, “I am angry.”
  • Now that you’re aware this is going on, what can you do to stop your mind from bouncing around taking all these negative thoughts so seriously? First you need to understand something…
  • Call me “Captain Obvious” if you like, but this is not good.
  • And research by Harvard happiness expert Daniel Gilbert shows that a wandering mind is not a happy mind:
  • But this process, sadly, is quite normal. As Nobel Prize winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman has said:
  • If this was a character in a movie you’d laugh at them for not seeing the pattern and continuing to take each thing so seriously. But normally you don’t notice it. And I don’t need to add that this is no prescription for happiness.
  • It just ping-pongs all over the place. And when you’re moody, it takes everything so seriously.
  • So what’s a good place to start? Let’s see what mindfulness is not. A good example is probably, well… your brain. (Sorry about that.)
  • Now here’s the part where I give you an actual definition of mindfulness, right? Wrong. It’s kinda like defining “love” or “art.” Hard to really capture it all in one sentence. So I’m gonna do you one better…
  • Three big names in the field have collaborated to produce an app that can teach you how to be more mindful. (You can check it out here.)
  • Sometimes it seems like your brain just sits around creating lousy feelings and worries. You want this, you’re frustrated about that, you’re annoyed about some other thing and the list never stops. And it makes it impossible to be happy.
  • Watch Your Mind For 5 Minutes: Yeah, it’s often a crazy mess of thoughts you take wayyyy too seriously.
  • You Are Not Your Thoughts: If you had a broken arm, you wouldn’t say, “I am broken.”
  • Label Your Thoughts And Feelings: Put a frame around them. This dampens the emotions.
  • Don’t Just React To Thoughts. Decide: Ask yourself, “Is it useful?”
  • Be Compassionate: Only by being able to get close to the pain of others can you really help them.Plenty of research shows the benefits of meditating but what’s its connection to mindfulness, you ask?
  • Meditation helps you practice the elements of mindfulness in a very controlled setting. It’s like going to the gym for your mindfulness muscles:
  • You’re not gonna be the Mayor of Mindfulness City by tomorrow. It takes time. But you’ll get better. And something that really helps is meditation.
  • By quietly focusing on your breath you see those random thoughts bubble up and you learn to let them go.
  • You use “noting” to label troublesome thoughts.
  • You strengthen your attention by continually returning to concentrating on your breathing when you get distracted. Stronger attention means less mind-wandering and more happiness.When you believe you are your thoughts, it can lead to a lot of unhappiness. It’s a mistake. Sharon told me a heartwarming story about a mistake someone else made:See the thoughts, don’t be the thoughts. Label’em. And then decide if they’re useful. If they make your life better, if they’re compassionate, then the answer is yes.Join over 300,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email here.How To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior ExpertNew Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More SuccessfulAdvice, MindfulnessEric Barker
  • The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
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  • Originally published at www.bakadesuyo.com
  • New Neuroscience Reveals 4 Rituals That Will Make You Happy
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  • If you’re mindful, it can be a doggy-dog world.
  • This young woman said to me recently that her whole young life she had thought that the expression was, “It’s a doggy-dog world,” and then someone told her, “No, it’s a dog-eat-dog world,” and she was horrified. She said, “No, I don’t want it to be a dog-eat-dog world! I want it to be a doggy-dog world!”
  • But whether you meditate or not, what’s most important is getting some distance from your thoughts, deciding which ones are useful, which ones will make you and others happy, and acting on them.
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 Rob Carrick
August 4, 2017August 2, 2017

Living alone is bad for your personal finances.

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From a basic sharing of expenses to the availability of tax breaks, you’re better off financially if you have a spouse, partner or roommate. But as 2016 census data shows, singles now account for the biggest slice of Canadian households. Possible trend of the future: The relationship of financial convenience, where people of all ages live together to save money.

As chair of the Ottawa chapter of CARP, a group representing retired people, Janet Gray hears from a lot of senior women about discrimination against singles. “They say there’s an injustice – almost a penalty – for being single,” said Ms. Gray, who is a financial planner with Money Coaches Canada.

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Read more: Census 2016: More Canadians than ever are living alone, and other takeaways

Retired couples can take advantage of pension-income splitting, where a higher-income spouse or common-law partner shares up to half of his or her pension with the lower-income spouse/partner to reduce taxes. Payments from a registered pension plan can be split before age 65 or later, while payments from a registered retirement income fund or registered retirement savings plan can be split at 65 and older. There’s no similar opportunity to save when you’re a single retiree.
The financial disadvantages of being single are especially noticeable in retirement, but they’re significant even for millennials. Ms. Gray said a single person would typically qualify for a smaller mortgage than a couple, which limits the ability to buy in expensive housing markets such as Vancouver or Toronto.

“At 35, you could find yourself buying a first house and having to go to mom and dad to ask, can you co-sign for me?” she said. “It’s kind of demoralizing.”

The old cliché about two living as cheaply as one may be exaggerated, but Ms. Gray figures that singles pay 75 to 80 per cent of the costs incurred by a couple. Whether one or two adults live in a home, major costs like mortgage payments, property taxes, utilities and maintenance are the same.

There are some additional tax breaks beyond pension-income splitting that benefit couples, not singles. Here are a few highlighted by Mark Goodfield, a partner at the accounting firm BDO Canada LLP:

The spouse or common-law partner amount: This tax credit is claimable if you support a spouse or common-law partner with income of less than $11,635 for 2017.
Medical expenses: Partners can combine their medical expenses to get the most benefit from this tax credit.
Charitable donations: Donations by spouses can be combined so that they qualify for the enhanced tax credit available to charitable giving of amounts above $200 ( a lesser credit applies for smaller donations).
Adam Morke, an accountant with Stern Cohen, said there aren’t as many tax breaks for couples as people think. “Canada’s income tax system is, generally speaking, designed around taxing individuals as opposed to couples,” he said in an e-mail. The idea that couples are hugely advantaged may come from the United States, where there’s more opportunity for them to save on tax.

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It was Ms. Gray, the financial planner, who floated the idea of the relationship of financial convenience. It’s a concept that may be particularly well suited to expensive cities where both houses and rental accommodations are expensive. Achieving financial independence as a young adult in these locations may depend on some kind of sharing of expenses.

The 2016 census data found that almost 35 per cent of people between the ages of 20 and 34 lived with at least one parent, up from 30.6 per cent in 2001. Between a challenging job market and pricey housing, young adults are increasingly having to rely on family for financial support.

Having a roommate seems like a university or college thing, but maybe it’s time to consider it as an option at all ages. Pension-income splitting isn’t available to roommates, but they can pool their financial resources to afford the high cost of housing and enjoy the emotional benefits of companionship. Don’t they say that one is the loneliest number?

 

 

3 Ways Your Past Wins Are Blocking Your Future Successes

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Its easier to bask in the glow of the glory days than it is to put in the hard work to defend your spot at the top.

I’m tired of hearing stories that start like this: “Back in the day, I used to kill it.” Every time I hear someone say that, I think to myself, “Why did you stop killing it, then?” Let’s be real. No one ever says, “I want to be successful for a short period of time.” That’s not how the game works.

I have a theory why back-in-the-day stories are plenty and present-day wins are few: Winning isn’t easy. If it were, there would be no losers.

1. You fear starting over.
Winning takes hard work, focus, dedication, time, pain and finesse. Oftentimes, when someone has put in the effort to win, they fear starting over and winning again. After all, it’s hard work. Remember those folks who peaked in high school or college? They won one championship and celebrated it for the rest of their lives, even though they gave up on going to the big leagues.

The sales field is full of people who’ve won in the past but have written off their hopes of winning in the future. I hear people say, “But the rules changed” or “It’s not possible these days.” It’s all bullshit. It’s much easier to win once and retire than it is to turn around and defend the title. Most people — maybe even you — glory in knowing you won once. You should be focusing instead on how to remain the champ.

But guess which pays better? Is it retirement or championship?

2. You’re uncoachable.
Even worse (and I notice this the most) are those who have won in the past and refuse to be coached on how to win in the future. It’s as if previous wins inflated their egos so much, they can’t admit they need help to win again — even if it means helping themselves. “I know that” is one of the most dangerous phrases. While most people know everything, few choose to implement knowledge.

As I always say: “Knowledge + action = success.”

Realize this: There are no champions without coaches.

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Knowing it all isn’t the problem, but lack of application and action can become serious obstacles to overcome. Knowing what to do and actually doing it are two different things. You need a coach to help you practice and perfect what you do know. Find a good one to keep you accountable, and accept his or her criticism along with the praise.

3. You’re lying to yourself about what’s possible.
Most people believe what was possible back in the day is possible no longer. But we live in a time of advancement, not regression. Anything that was possible in the past is easier to accomplish in the present. It’s all a matter of mindset and making shifts over time, not fighting them.

The good-old days are now, and the sooner you realize it, the better.

I work with a lot of mortgage-loan officers. They usually talk about how good they had it before 2009. Which is complete nonsense. Everyone had it good in mortgages pre-2009. Money was everywhere and unregulated. If you could breathe, you could get a loan. When it stopped being easy, only champions pushed through. Most gave up and just accepted their peak had passed.

Yet here we are, years later, and many in the mortgage business never have out-earned their pre-2009 incomes — even though we live in the best time to be in the mortgage business. They let their past success hinder their future earnings. It’s a huge upper-limit mental block. And it’s not just loan officers, either. I hear it from nearly every sales position.

You have the power to win again.
Are you starting to think I’m describing you? Did you crush it in one place or another in the past but can’t seem to start winning again? I feel you. Most salespeople face this fear at least once during their careers. You have to know it starts with your mindset. You must believe your past wins were training exercises for your future championship. Believe you deserve to win and be willing to do the work.

The moment you think you know what it takes but decide not to do it is the moment you shift from winner to loser. It’s can be a hard pill to swallow.

My job is not always easy. But some of you need to read the truth: You’ve decided to relent, and that’s not the real you. It’s the scared version of you — the one you’ve let yourself become.

Start by building up wins in the present. Where and what can you win right now? Can you win top producer? Win over five more clients? Or win the day with your boss and patch things up? Think about a few small wins that are realistic to achieve. Then, go after them — and use those victories to gain momentum for bigger wins.

It’s time to forget about past accomplishments. They’re over and done, and no one is basking in the glow of that phase of your life. If you’re not winning in present, you’re doing it wrong. You weren’t put here on earth to talk for the rest of your life about successes that happened 10 years ago.

It’s time to put in the work again, my friend. The past is over, and now is when you create your future.

Ryan Stewman
Ryan Stewman, the “hardcore closer,” is a best-selling author, podcaster and blogger.

9 Habits of Profoundly Influential People

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Influential people have a profound impact on everyone they encounter. Yet, they achieve this only because they exert so much influence inside, on themselves.

We see only their outside.

We see them innovate, speak their mind, and propel themselves forward toward bigger and better things.

And, yet, we’re missing the best part.

The confidence and wherewithal that make their influence possible are earned. It’s a labor of love that influential people pursue behind the scenes, every single day.

And while what people are influenced by changes with the season, the unique habits of influential people remain constant. Their focused pursuit of excellence is driven by nine habits that you can emulate and absorb until your influence expands:

1. They think for themselves

Influential people aren’t buffeted by the latest trend or by public opinion. They form their opinions carefully, based on the facts. They’re more than willing to change their mind when the facts support it, but they aren’t influenced by what other people think, only by what they know.

2. They are graciously disruptive

Influential people are never satisfied with the status quo. They’re the ones who constantly ask, “What if?” and “Why not?” They’re not afraid to challenge conventional wisdom, and they don’t disrupt things for the sake of being disruptive; they do it to make things better.

3. They inspire conversation

When influential people speak, conversations spread like ripples in a pond. And those ripples are multidirectional; influencers inspire everyone around them to explore new ideas and think differently about their work.

4. They leverage their networks

Influential people know how to make lasting connections. Not only do they know a lot of people, they get to know their connections’ connections. More importantly, they add value to everyone in their network. They share advice and know how, and they make connections between people who should get to know each other.

5. They focus only on what really matters

Influential people aren’t distracted by trivialities. They’re able to cut through the static and clutter, focus on what matters, and point it out to everyone else. They speak only when they have something important to say, and they never bore people with idle banter.

6. They welcome disagreement

Influential people do not react emotionally and defensively to dissenting opinions—they welcome them. They’re humble enough to know that they don’t know everything and that someone else might see something they missed. And if that person is right, they embrace the idea wholeheartedly because they care more about the end result than being right.

7. They are proactive

Influential people don’t wait for things like new ideas and new technologies to find them; they seek those things out. These early adopters always want to anticipate what’s next. They’re influential because they see what’s coming, and they see what’s coming because they intentionally look for it. Then they spread the word.

8. They respond rather than react

If someone criticizes an influential person for making a mistake, or if someone else makes a critical mistake, influential people don’t react immediately and emotionally. They wait. They think. And then they deliver an appropriate response. Influential people know how important relationships are, and they won’t let an emotional overreaction harm theirs. They also know that emotions are contagious, and overreacting has a negative influence on everyone around them.

9. They believe

Influential people always expect the best. They believe in their own power to achieve their dreams, and they believe others share that same power. They believe that nothing is out of reach, and that belief inspires those around them to stretch for their own goals. They firmly believe that one person can change the world.

Bringing It All Together

To increase your influence, you need to freely share your skills and insights, and you must be passionate in your pursuit of a greater future.

What other qualities make people influential? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the cofounder of TalentSmart, the world’s leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Dr. Bradberry has written for, or been covered by, Newsweek, TIME, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The Harvard Business Review.